Monday, November 14th at 14:56
My grandaughter insisted in staying a little bit longer in Argentina. She was hanging around in some social shit called last.fm, a place where people that don't understand shit about music pretend to actually do it, and she saw that a band called Pearl Jam had a gig on November 13th in a place called La Plata (She's a big fan of them), so i agreed to join her.
I have to tell you folks, that was a pretty devastating journey. First of all, that place has the most disgusting people i've ever seen, we saw some monkeys with red and white t-shirts (someone told us that it was from a football team called "Estudiantes La Platau", okay so "Estudiantes" mean students, and you know that's some big bullshit because those niggers can't even talk properly) with beers and shit sandwiches screaming some third-world country shit, and chanting "Bruga Beron" or some bullshit like that, all the fucking time.
We arrived at the stadium and the show was about to begin, so Andy, my manager, told me to go to the VIP section. As soon as i sit in my place, a guy came to break my fucking big hairy balls screaming some shit about Roxy Music, and how he was a big fan of mine and how he would suck Brian Eno's dick over and over. Later, another guy told me that this guy was some famous argentinean dude called "Matias Martin", i don't know if he's a cool guy or not (he seems like a retard to me, if you ask me of course), but he had a jew face and didn't know how to cover his pretty fucking big baldness.
The show started and those guys were playing like they were some vaginas full of sand, some shitty open chords through some 4x12 Marshall's, what a waste! an emo frontman crying in every goddamn song about how hard and rude the life is, dude, if life's so fucking hard go kill yourself and stop hammering my cock, it was fucking awful, i've never seen a guy so pussy since i've found Robert Smith crying about how the burguers of Burguers Palace weren't as big as in the picture.
Later on, they did a Ramones cover and they talked about how Argentinean people were so close to them. Well, that rounded stinky ol' asshole called Eddie Vedder don't know shit about the Ramones, those guys were fucking high the whole time, and everybody knows that South America, and specially a nasty place like Argentina, has a high volume of drug traffic. The Ramones were neat, fast, dirty and cool, those old bastards were like my father (RIP) doing some easy chords with a Les Paul farting in a third ass country.
So, i'm moving back to England so i can forget about this nightmare, those red-white-gorillas, that noisy-soulless-sonic youth shit and this momma-boy crying about how his girlfriend dumped him for being such a pussy.